THe Phantom of the Jingle Bells
by museforsale
Summary: Based off the 2004 movie. All your fav christmas jingles phantomtized! Whee..I spin on my spinny chair...randomness is included...I see a boxelder bug...yes, indeed...hmm...rambling... Aww, had to bump up the rating...
1. THe Phantom of the Opera is there

The Phantom of the Opera is there

(tune of Santa Claus is Comin' to town)

You'd better watch out

You better not sing

Better not doubt,

Oh, I'm tellin' you what

The Phantom of the Opera

Is there

* * *

He's gettin' real pissed

Carlotta's refusin

Buquet tells tales

And the managers are dumb

The Phantom of the Opera

Is there

* * *

Christine is all dissapear-y

And Raoul is all crazy

Madame Giry knows some stuff

But she ain't gonna say...

* * *

You'd better watch out

You'd better not sing

Better not doubt,

Oh, I'm tellin' you what

The Phantom of the Opera

The Phantom of the Opera

The Phantom of the Opera

Is there!


	2. Erik Bells

Erik Bells

(based off Jingle Bells)

Croaking on the stage

In front of the whole state (I know they don't use states in Paris, bear with me)

And Erik is up high,

Laughing the whole time (ha ha ha)

Fops and dandies joke,

Phantom ties the rope,

What fun it is to cry and sing

An Opera song tonight

Car…

Lotta croaks, Carlotta croaks,

Croakin' all the way!

O what fun it is to hear

A Prima Donna wail, Car…

Lotta croaks, Carlotta croaks,

Croakin' all the way!

O what fun it is to hear

A Prima Donna wail!

Cro-ak!

* * *

A day or two ago,

The Fop sang All I Ask,

Blissfully unaware that Erik

Touched the girl's ass (ho ho ho)

Christine played along

Misfortune seemed her lot

Erik overheard,

And boy, was he upsot (shut up…)

Erik pissed, Erik pissed,

That's not really good…

Oh how many stagehands will

Hang from the catwalk?

Erik pissed, Erik pissed,

That's not really good…

Oh how many stagehands will

Hang from the catwalk? Hey!

* * *

A day or two ago,

The story I must tell

We went to a masked ball

Cause Erik's gone and all

A gent walked in on it

Dressed as the Red Death,

Who was this man?

Well, it was Erik

Erik's back, Erik's back

Armed with the Punjab!

And now he will be pissed again

And kill another guy

Erik's back, Erik's back,

Armed with the Punjab!

And now he will be pissed again

And kill another guy!

* * *

Now Erik is gone

Raoul the fop has won

He got Christine because

She did not wanna be wed

To an ugly guy

That really is so hot

Only in the movie

But is really meant to not be hot

Oh,

Hot Phantom, hot Phantom

Christine is really dumb

Cause she chose the Fop

Instead of cute Phantom

Hot Phantom, hot Phantom

Christine is really dumb

Cause she chose the Fop

Instead of cute Phantom


	3. Erik the Hot Masked Phantom

Erik the Hot Phantom

(tune of Rudolf the Red nosed Reindeer)

You know Hitler and Santa

And Jack the Ripper,

Freddy and Jason

And George W. Bush

But do you recall

The most famous murderer of all?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Erik the hot masked Phantom

(Phantom)

Had a very ugly face

(Like yo mamma!)

And if you ever saw it

(Saw it)

You would pro'lly die from fear

(Like a bunny)

All of the other people

(People)

Used to scream and fear him so

(Like Pinocchio)

They never let poor Phantom

(Phantom)

Sing in any operas!

(Like FAUST)

---------------------------------------------------------

Then one foggy gala night

Christine said to him

(Blah blah blah)

Phantom dude your voice is cool

Won't you guide my song tonight?

Then how she dissapeared

(Poof)

Managers were like WTF

(What the beep)

Erik the hot Phantom

(Phantom)

You'll go down in history!

(Like the Authoress)


	4. Jolly Feminish Fop

(to the tune of Jolly Old St. Nicholas)

Jolly feminish Fop,

Lean your hair this way!

Don't you tell another fop

What I'm going to spray:

Masquerade is coming soon;

Now, you dear old fop

Whisper what you'll bring to her,

Tell me if you'll not.

* * *

When Erik is well and armed,

With his Punjab rope,

Down the graveyard you will go,

Full of fleeting hope.

Christine Daae you will find

Singing with that guy

Draw your sword, you stupid girl

And slowly will you die!

* * *

Christine wants a pretty ring

Carlotta wants her head (by her, I mean CHRISTINE!)

Raoul wants cherry lippy gloss

Erik wants him dead

Now I think I'll leave to you

Who will live or die,

Choose for them, cool Authoress,

Because you rule on high!


	5. We three Kings

Christine sang, her music took flight

Erik watched and stole her in the night

Fear and shouting from ol' Foppio

Searching for the Opera Star

O fop of Opera,

Fop of light,

Fop that's rich

And not so bright

No wonder Christine chose him,

He got the Bling bling!

* * *

Born a horse in Erik's lair

Why, oh why, is that horse there?

There forever, Pointless ever,

Poor poor horse.

O Horse of boredom,

Horse of night

Horse with no

Sunlight

There forever, pointless ever

Poor poor horse

* * *

Music lessons, to offer have I

A chance for fame and getting high

Sing to me, chant mon Ange

And let me hold your ass

O song of beauty, song of night

Song with magic but no light

Christine singing, Erik teaching

Helping her through her life

* * *

Little Meg, you have no clue

Who takes your friend and what they do

To her and what they talk about

Maybe it could be you

O song of beauty, song of night

Song with magic but no light

Christine singing, Erik teaching

Helping her through herlife

* * *

Glorious Ghost, fear him now;

Raoul and Christine know all about

Him and his lair, and his poor horse,

But they all rock too

O song of beauty, song of night

Song with magic but no light

Christine singing, Erik teaching

Helping her through life


	6. Angel she has heard your song

(to the tune of Angels we have heard on high)

Angel she has heard your song,

Singing sweetly of the night,

But when she your mask off

You made her cower in her fear

Scary Erik

frightening poor Chris

Scary Erik

Frightening poor Chris

* * *

Madame quiet as a mouse

Why not say say the secrets of

The murderer in the Opera House

Who wears funkyawsome gloves

Madame Giry

Not saying one word..

Madame Giry

Not saying one word

* * *

Christine fell prey to the hymn

Of the sexy Opera Ghost

But still she left him

For the Vicomte, all Foppy (I know that doesnt rhyme)

Retarded Christine

You broke Erik's heart

Retarded Christine

You broke Erik's heart

* * *

See him having a fit

Raoul is mad at the Opera Ghost

Sending strange letters to this dit,

Yelling and screaming at the Post

Dumb fop

Blissfully unaware

Dump fop

Blissfully unaware


	7. The OPera Ghost

(to the tune of Greensleeves)

What man is this who raped Daae

Down in the lair while she's sleeping

The angel known as Erik may

Have some secrets he's keeping

* * *

Chorus:

This, this is the Opera Ghost

whom darkness guard and consume him most

Haste, Haste, to sing him Faust,

With Carlotta, the leading lady (okay, that line was Leroux-based)

* * *

Why does he live in darkness so

Why do ballet rats torment his fro? (I know he doesn't have a fro, but humor me)

The answer is his face you see

And Raoul just won't let him be

* * *

Chorus

Christine sang for him but

The managers are gay

So they cast Carlotta, the nut

Not letting poor Phantom have his way

Chorus


	8. Singing in the Opera Populaire

Singing in the Opera Populaire

(To the tune of Winter Wonderland, based off the musial, not the movie this time)

Christine singing, and Erik's listening,

up on high, he is scheming

A drop of the chandelier,

Some good laughs and cheers,

Singing in the Opera Populaire (I would use Garnier since it works better, but even though the real buildings called this we'll just go with what I have down)

* * *

Gone away is the diva

Here to stay is Carlotta

But come on she rocks

She rocks my socks

Singing in the Opera Populaire

* * *

On the rooftop we can sing All I Ask

Christine can pretend that she loves raoul

He'll say: Love me?

she'll say: Know I do

Then love me

Thats All I Ask of you

* * *

Later on, he'll conspire,

How to get his little Daae

And to kill the fop,

we all go hurrah

Singing in the Opera Populaire

* * *

At the Opera we'll sing Past the Point

Past the Point of no Return

He'll have lots of fun killing Piangi

But then again wouldn't we all

* * *

Christine's gone, so is Erik,

And the Fop went to find them

He just gets in the way, the GeorgeW (bush) way,

Singing in the Opera Populaire

Singing in the Opera Populaire

Singing in the Opera Populaire


	9. Joy to the World

Joy to the World 

(yaay, a whole song dedicated to the most awsomeness character in POTO, made by her most loyal phan. GO CARLOTTA, SPANISH/ITALIAN DIVA! And Minnie Driver too, cause she rocks also cause she sang learn to be Lonely. And played the best not obese Carlotta. To the tune of Joy to the World, no duh)

Joy to the world! The Lordess will sing

Let fops enjoy her song!

What about Christine? No one cares for that stupid teen

Let Carlotta Guidicelli sing,

La Carlotta Guidicelli will sing,

La Carlotta, Carlotta Guidicelli will sing

* * *

Joy to the earth! The diva reigns;

She rocks beyond belief

with poodles and hairdressers, and the managers obeyin' her

They are totally under her command,

They are totally under her command,

They will obey her every wish

* * *

No more Christine singing the leading role

She will not take her part

Carlotta may not be as good as her, but Christine is not as cool

Christine is not as cool

Christine is not as cool

Christine is not as cool as Carlotta

* * *

She rules the world with grace and tantrums,

And makes the public prove

The glories of La Carlotta, Signora Guidicelli,

And wonders of Italian divas, and wonders of Prima Donnas,

And wonders of the Great La Carlotta


	10. THe first Opera first Noel

The First Opera

(just to tell you Erik's Secret Admirer suggested that I do this one and wrote the first verse, so yea. Go you! But yea, she's an awsum writer, you should check her stories out)

The first opera, Christine did so well

Everyone in the audience loved her song

The second opera was not so great

Because Buquet got hanged by Erik

Operas, operas, operas, operas,

There are so many operas in old Paris (pronounced pa-ree)

* * *

They listened to Christine with intent to make her

THe greatest opera singer the world had heard

But the managers had to keep La Carlotta

And so she sang instead of Christine

Operas, operas, operas, operas,

There are so many operas in old Paris

* * *

So Carlotta sang the Countess so bad

That Erik had to hang drunk Buquet

So Raoul joined Christine up in the rooftop

And they sang Say you'll Share with me

Operas, operas, operas, operas,

There are so many operas in old Paris

* * *

After this was Masquerade

And Erik came to join the fun

And there did he demand to the managers, who's gay

Who they shall cast and do what he say

Operas, operas, operas, operas

There are so many operas in old Paris

* * *

The last opera, the audience did hate

They thought it was crude and perverted (Don Juan, if you don't know, means a man who stalks or rapes girls, and Don Juan Triumphant means, well you know...)

But Erik came to sing with Christine

But she was a bitch and took his mask off

Operas, opera, operas, operas

There are so many operas in Old Paris


	11. Let her Sing!

Let her Sing!

(to the tune of let it snow)

(Look, I updated! I FINALLY UPDATED!)

Oh, Erik's temper is truly frightful,

But Raoul's IQ is so delightful,

But since we're in no mood for him,

Let her sing, let her sing, let her sing.

* * *

The managers don't show signs of stopping,

So the stage props will go a-dropping;

They won't listen to Erik; the king,

Let her sing, let her sing, let her sing.

* * *

When we finally hear the opera,

How we'll hate the dumb ol' Foppera;

But if he takes Christine up high,

let her Sing, let her Sing, let her sing.( Iknow that doesn't rhyme...SHUT UP!)

* * *

Buquet is quickly dying,

And, my dear, we're a-why-ing,

But as long as Erik steals the ring,

Let her sing, let her sing, let her sing.


	12. This is the Phantom's Lair

_(To the tune of 'This is Halloween', from the Nnightmare Before Christmas)_

_(A/N: Okay...so it's been about five or six moinths since I've updated anything...but I've been busy; I have a LOT of drawing requests and then school started...bleh. Well. Uhm. _

_If your wondering, I'm doing a Halloween parody in a Christmas themed...thing...because I'm such a badass rebel like that. And it's Halloween in four days XP But actually, the original song is from the Nightmare before CHRISTMAS, so I think I'm safe. So HA.)_

Dumbass divas of every age

Why don't you say something that's not so strange?

Come with him, away from the light

Taint your soul with the Music of the Night...

This is the Phantom's Lair, the is the Phantom's Lair

Christine sings annoying like hell

This is the Phantom's Lair, This is the Phantom's Lair

Darkness creeps down where he dwells

It's his (Opera) House! Do what he says

Or else suffer till the end of your days...

He is the one hiding under the floor

Looking so shmexy but wild as a boar

He is the one stalking from up above

Moves so swift and silent as a dove (are doves silent? God I hope they are XP )

This is the Phantom's Lair, This is the Phantom's Lair

Phantom's Lair, Phantom's Lair, Phantom's Lair, Phantom's Lair...

Under the town, where he plays pong (Haha I have no idea)

Christine shall fall victim to his beautiful song

Under the town, don't we love it there?

Fear and death cling heavy to the air

Round that corner, rat wearing a funky hat and

Erik's waiting now to punjab and how you'll scream!

Scream! This is the Phantom's Lair!

Red and black, is that a bear? (Okay...I have NO IDEA...Dont ask me)

Aren't you scared?

Well, that's just fine

Say it once, say it twice!

Take a chance and roll the dice

Soar with the angel; the angel of Hell...

Everybody scream! Everybody SCREAM!

In the place you've seen in you dreams

he is the man hidden behind the white cloth

Living in shadows, well isn't that goth?

He is the who when you call "Who's there?"

He is the wind blowing through your hair

This is the Phantom's Lair, This is the Phantom's Lair

Phantom's Lair, Phantom's Lair, Phantom's Lair, Phantom's Lair

Phantom's Lair, Phantom's Lair...

Ballet rats are everywhere

Time for him to cut some hair (Can anyone say pedophilia?)

That's what he does with his knife

God, he needs to get a life

Under the town, don't we love it there?

Fear and death cling heavy to the air...

Erik just might snatch you from the light and

Turn you into a trance-like wide eyed idi-ot (it's true; just look at Rossum)

This is the Phantom's Lair, This is the Phantom's Lair

Won't you please make way for a very special guy?

Our fav Ghost might be your host so

Everyone hail to the Phantom Erik now

This is the Phantom's Lair, This is the Phantom's Lair

Phantom's Lair, Phantom's Lair, Phantom's Lair, Phantom's Lair...

Under the town, don't we love it there?

Fear and death cling heavy to the air

La la-la la la-la la, la la

la la-la la la-la la, la la

La, la-la la la-la la, la la

La, la-la la la-la la, la la

Whee!


End file.
